Starbucks isn't a coffee shop anymore. It's overpriced hipster milkshakes for grownups (with sprinkles!!!) -- infantalized just like everything else in the culture. Actual coffeehouses of the kind we think of in , say, 1950s/60s cafe society in Paris... those would be for, y'know, adults. Can't be havin' that... because adults having ser…
Starbucks isn't a coffee shop anymore. It's overpriced hipster milkshakes for grownups (with sprinkles!!!) -- infantalized just like everything else in the culture. Actual coffeehouses of the kind we think of in , say, 1950s/60s cafe society in Paris... those would be for, y'know, adults. Can't be havin' that... because adults having serious conversations over serious coffee might think thoughts that would upset the powers-that-be. Better to keep everyone drugged out and brain fogged on sugar and caffeine so we don't come up with any plans to disrupt the excesses of late stage capitalism.
While the latest crop of drinks is embarrassing, the notion that Starbucks peddaling sugary coffee-adjacent sludge is a new development doesnt line up with the facts. I remember getting cutsey drinks there twenty years ago, and even before that Zoolander made "Orange mocha Frappuccino" into a punchline.
The notion that Starbucks is partaking in a plot by Big Latte to keep Americans docile is ridiculous, and using a popular culture image of a specific scene that ended six decades ago as the template for coffee houses is silly. It's like saying that bars used to nurse talent of great writers like Fitzgerald and Bukowski, but now just keep the proles in a brain fog of alcohol and sugar.
Agreed on the second sentence, except for one point: I suspect they're not targeting grownups, but are aiming to serve as a 'third space' for the pre-teen and teenage crowd. Concoctions like the 'Pink Drink' were -- as 'secret' menu items -- unofficial social media fare before they became named menu items.
Targeting teens is a means, not an end. The desire is not to focus exclusively on the most fickle demographic, which also happens to be one that naturally ages out every five years. Rather, the purpose is to start the addiction early in order to acquire an entire generation of grownup customers before they’re grown up.
If not, I will just start with noting that being upset that teenaged girls consume products and thinking that it is the byproduct of "The Gynocracy" is insane.
Whew! I was going to post a long diatribe about women being equally picky about their coffee. My DIL is from Italy. Needless to say, we don't frequent many "Italian" Restaurants or Cafes. I doubt she will ever become fully "Americanized" when it comes to food and drink.
My Son married a lovely woman from Italy. They have 3 "mocha machines" stove-top espresso makers. They pack one if they are going to travel. Every morning, he makes them each a cup of espresso and breakfast. Their routine in the morning is like watching a ballet. He has to use the bigger one or two of them if I am visiting. He is precise in measuring the grounds. It is all muscle memory for him now and he lectures me on grinding the beans properly. I smile knowing I raised him up well.
Starbucks isn't a coffee shop anymore. It's overpriced hipster milkshakes for grownups (with sprinkles!!!) -- infantalized just like everything else in the culture. Actual coffeehouses of the kind we think of in , say, 1950s/60s cafe society in Paris... those would be for, y'know, adults. Can't be havin' that... because adults having serious conversations over serious coffee might think thoughts that would upset the powers-that-be. Better to keep everyone drugged out and brain fogged on sugar and caffeine so we don't come up with any plans to disrupt the excesses of late stage capitalism.
While the latest crop of drinks is embarrassing, the notion that Starbucks peddaling sugary coffee-adjacent sludge is a new development doesnt line up with the facts. I remember getting cutsey drinks there twenty years ago, and even before that Zoolander made "Orange mocha Frappuccino" into a punchline.
The notion that Starbucks is partaking in a plot by Big Latte to keep Americans docile is ridiculous, and using a popular culture image of a specific scene that ended six decades ago as the template for coffee houses is silly. It's like saying that bars used to nurse talent of great writers like Fitzgerald and Bukowski, but now just keep the proles in a brain fog of alcohol and sugar.
Agreed on the second sentence, except for one point: I suspect they're not targeting grownups, but are aiming to serve as a 'third space' for the pre-teen and teenage crowd. Concoctions like the 'Pink Drink' were -- as 'secret' menu items -- unofficial social media fare before they became named menu items.
You might be right, but regardless, it's "grown ups" who are buying them, which is the larger point.
Targeting teens is a means, not an end. The desire is not to focus exclusively on the most fickle demographic, which also happens to be one that naturally ages out every five years. Rather, the purpose is to start the addiction early in order to acquire an entire generation of grownup customers before they’re grown up.
Exactly. Pre and post classes, Starbucks is full of teen GIRLS, not “serious” people. I blame The Gynocracy. Nothing they can’t ruin!
Is this a joke? If so, masterfully done.
If not, I will just start with noting that being upset that teenaged girls consume products and thinking that it is the byproduct of "The Gynocracy" is insane.
Yeah. Seriously joking 🙃
Whew! I was going to post a long diatribe about women being equally picky about their coffee. My DIL is from Italy. Needless to say, we don't frequent many "Italian" Restaurants or Cafes. I doubt she will ever become fully "Americanized" when it comes to food and drink.
Agreed, except no self-respecting hipster would spend any time in Starbucks.
I know quite a few adults who claim to love "coffee" but really just love the overly-sugary milkshakes Starbucks calls coffee.
I feel like the odd man out going into a Starbucks and ordering a plain latte or cappuccino.
My Son married a lovely woman from Italy. They have 3 "mocha machines" stove-top espresso makers. They pack one if they are going to travel. Every morning, he makes them each a cup of espresso and breakfast. Their routine in the morning is like watching a ballet. He has to use the bigger one or two of them if I am visiting. He is precise in measuring the grounds. It is all muscle memory for him now and he lectures me on grinding the beans properly. I smile knowing I raised him up well.