None of my neighbors subscribe to my Substack newsletter, as far as I can tell. That’s fine with me. I don’t talk much about my vocation around here. We’ve lived in this house for many years (although we will be moving in a few days), and during that whole period I’ve never spoken to anyone on our street about my writing. From their perspective, I’m just another family man who works from home.
Just found this from your "Map to the Honest Broker". I think I started subscribing a few months after this would have been published. I don't think I've ever seen *only* 88 hearts on one of your articles.
As a homeschooling parent (almost at 17 years), I love this parenting advice - this is basically the approach we've taken with our kids, too: Read, read, read, Follow interests, put the onus on the kids to achieve what they want to. I don't think (for kids and adults) there 'wasted time' - with any type of job, activity, or experience you learn something that can be useful to you in the future.
I'm passing this along and hoping your 'gamifying the humanities' catches on!
Well, nature-nurture. The most important thing parents should learn is to stop imagining that they are "responsible" for their childrens' outcomes. You could have three kids, and one might become a canonized saint, one might be a bland citizen, and one might become an ax-murderer. My mother, when asked her philosopy about child-rearing said "I try to keep my kids from accidentally commiting suicide until they are about 6 years old, and there's not much I can do beyond that." This is not to say that my parents didn't work assiduously to "empower" (hate that word) my brother and me, and provide us with every opportunity. But mother truly understood the situation . . .
I enjoyed reading your reflections on parenting, Ted. Thank you for sharing them. As a parent of 10, 8, and 1.5 year old boys, I've been thinking a lot lately about parenting. After recently reading Atomic Habits by James Clear, I have been thinking a lot about how to help my kids establish good habits. Your essay provided me with a lot of food for thought about which habits might be good to focus on.
This is an excellent piece, Ted. I endorse everything you say here. I am forever grateful that your two boys were among all the great kids that came through my classroom and played Apple Tree with me. It was a very special treat to meet up with Mickey in Aix during his studies and explorations in France and to hear him speak of his passions. Both he and Thomas are pursuing passions, not just degrees and career paths, and as you write here, that was the goal. Their lives and our world will be the better for it. Bravo to you and Tara !
Thank you Ted, this was an enjoyable and profitable read.
I'm wondering though, how do you navigate the sometimes tension between having fun and striving for quality? Because inevitably the latter if done in earnest will at times lead to frustrations, which at least in the moment will rarely feel "fun". Further, a focus on fun has in some quarters led to a focus on "edutainment", which I'm curious what your thoughts are on.
We alway operated on the assumption that having fun and doing quality work converge. It’s actually very depressing to do poor quality work. We’ve all experienced that. In contrast, it’s inspiring to do a good job, no matter how small the task. We talked as a family about times we had each worked hard on some silly, uninspiring project—just to find some kind of engagement with the task at hand—and also because it’s sad to associate one’s self (and reputation) with mediocre work. I found that these were productive conversations. Just being honest about the drudgery of some assignments is a step forward. But talking about how we define our own character and commitment in these instances was even more valuable. The conversation was now about us and the kind of person we want to be in difficult and draining situations. I can’t promise that this would work for everybody, but it was very useful for us.
Thank you for this article. As a parent of young kids, I found it both immensely clarifying (capturing a lot of my default behaviors, but explaining them so well) and inspiring (so many more things I could do to help my kids' development!)
I love this, Ted. I'm not a parent needing college prep tips but if you know me, you know I kept on reading. I wasn't surprised at how much I would admire how your wife and you raised your sons. I wish every parent could read this.
Thank you!
PS I would have loved taking that "Humanities Enrichment Project" at that age!
oh wow, a portion of The Pale King was not at all what I expected, but I'm happy to see it (and now I'm inspired to read this excerpt again, so thank you for that, too)
Just found this from your "Map to the Honest Broker". I think I started subscribing a few months after this would have been published. I don't think I've ever seen *only* 88 hearts on one of your articles.
As a homeschooling parent (almost at 17 years), I love this parenting advice - this is basically the approach we've taken with our kids, too: Read, read, read, Follow interests, put the onus on the kids to achieve what they want to. I don't think (for kids and adults) there 'wasted time' - with any type of job, activity, or experience you learn something that can be useful to you in the future.
I'm passing this along and hoping your 'gamifying the humanities' catches on!
I love this, but you say you didn’t home school them and then detail all the amazing things you did to enrich their education! I am taking notes.
Thank you for this. It's along the same lines as https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-case-for-the-ldquo-self-driven-child-rdquo/
Well, nature-nurture. The most important thing parents should learn is to stop imagining that they are "responsible" for their childrens' outcomes. You could have three kids, and one might become a canonized saint, one might be a bland citizen, and one might become an ax-murderer. My mother, when asked her philosopy about child-rearing said "I try to keep my kids from accidentally commiting suicide until they are about 6 years old, and there's not much I can do beyond that." This is not to say that my parents didn't work assiduously to "empower" (hate that word) my brother and me, and provide us with every opportunity. But mother truly understood the situation . . .
This was beautiful, practical, and touching. Thank you.
Ted, this makes me less nervous to have kids!
I enjoyed reading your reflections on parenting, Ted. Thank you for sharing them. As a parent of 10, 8, and 1.5 year old boys, I've been thinking a lot lately about parenting. After recently reading Atomic Habits by James Clear, I have been thinking a lot about how to help my kids establish good habits. Your essay provided me with a lot of food for thought about which habits might be good to focus on.
This is an excellent piece, Ted. I endorse everything you say here. I am forever grateful that your two boys were among all the great kids that came through my classroom and played Apple Tree with me. It was a very special treat to meet up with Mickey in Aix during his studies and explorations in France and to hear him speak of his passions. Both he and Thomas are pursuing passions, not just degrees and career paths, and as you write here, that was the goal. Their lives and our world will be the better for it. Bravo to you and Tara !
And thanks to you for the positive impact you had on our youngsters (and so many others at such a crucial time in their development).
Thank you Ted, this was an enjoyable and profitable read.
I'm wondering though, how do you navigate the sometimes tension between having fun and striving for quality? Because inevitably the latter if done in earnest will at times lead to frustrations, which at least in the moment will rarely feel "fun". Further, a focus on fun has in some quarters led to a focus on "edutainment", which I'm curious what your thoughts are on.
We alway operated on the assumption that having fun and doing quality work converge. It’s actually very depressing to do poor quality work. We’ve all experienced that. In contrast, it’s inspiring to do a good job, no matter how small the task. We talked as a family about times we had each worked hard on some silly, uninspiring project—just to find some kind of engagement with the task at hand—and also because it’s sad to associate one’s self (and reputation) with mediocre work. I found that these were productive conversations. Just being honest about the drudgery of some assignments is a step forward. But talking about how we define our own character and commitment in these instances was even more valuable. The conversation was now about us and the kind of person we want to be in difficult and draining situations. I can’t promise that this would work for everybody, but it was very useful for us.
Thank you for this article. As a parent of young kids, I found it both immensely clarifying (capturing a lot of my default behaviors, but explaining them so well) and inspiring (so many more things I could do to help my kids' development!)
I love this, Ted. I'm not a parent needing college prep tips but if you know me, you know I kept on reading. I wasn't surprised at how much I would admire how your wife and you raised your sons. I wish every parent could read this.
Thank you!
PS I would have loved taking that "Humanities Enrichment Project" at that age!
Loved this piece, but--as a huge fan of DFW--I'm dying to know what David Foster Wallace book/essay you read with your son!
Here’s the DFW work we read—if I taught high school students, I’d try to convince all of them to read it. It may have the most pertinent life lessons of any recent work of fiction I’ve read. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18000271-the-awakening-of-my-interest-in-advanced-tax
oh wow, a portion of The Pale King was not at all what I expected, but I'm happy to see it (and now I'm inspired to read this excerpt again, so thank you for that, too)
Best thing since chocolate Ted. Thank you so much!
Nice piece, Ted. An insight into the family. Thanks.
Beautiful article. I wish I had done some of these things with my own son.