The one thing that isn't mentioned here is how the sexual revolution and birth control upended courtship. Before the birth control revolution, pregnancy was very much what would happen if
want-to-be lovers gave in to their throbbing biological urges, and everyone knew it. BABIES. And the ramifications of that were well-known throughout so…
The one thing that isn't mentioned here is how the sexual revolution and birth control upended courtship. Before the birth control revolution, pregnancy was very much what would happen if
want-to-be lovers gave in to their throbbing biological urges, and everyone knew it. BABIES. And the ramifications of that were well-known throughout society. Consequently, it was important to have children conceived within marriage, and marriage to be an important social compact. Still, people are people, they long for each other; they fall in love, and courtship was a means to allow two people to get to know one another before they, as they used to say in my youth, ruined their lives.
Now I know how old fashioned and out of touch that sounds, just as I know people who got married to have sex and only later realized later how unfit they were for one another. I'm not suggesting we go back to some mythical past.
That said, there's nothing better than taking your time in getting to know someone, of looking forward to being with them, hearing what they think, spending time with them doing things you both enjoy, and having a good idea of who they are because you've spent enough time with them to find that out. It should also help you see that it's not just about you.
Our rush, rush society, and immediate gratification neediness is pure death to real love and long lasting relationships. Slow down, take your time, and learn a few love songs.
Some of us also love to be read to. Nothing makes me feel more romanced than a charming, well spoken man reading aloud to me. Of course, singing to me also works, but my darling partner and musician is dead now. Sigh.
The one thing that isn't mentioned here is how the sexual revolution and birth control upended courtship. Before the birth control revolution, pregnancy was very much what would happen if
want-to-be lovers gave in to their throbbing biological urges, and everyone knew it. BABIES. And the ramifications of that were well-known throughout society. Consequently, it was important to have children conceived within marriage, and marriage to be an important social compact. Still, people are people, they long for each other; they fall in love, and courtship was a means to allow two people to get to know one another before they, as they used to say in my youth, ruined their lives.
Now I know how old fashioned and out of touch that sounds, just as I know people who got married to have sex and only later realized later how unfit they were for one another. I'm not suggesting we go back to some mythical past.
That said, there's nothing better than taking your time in getting to know someone, of looking forward to being with them, hearing what they think, spending time with them doing things you both enjoy, and having a good idea of who they are because you've spent enough time with them to find that out. It should also help you see that it's not just about you.
Our rush, rush society, and immediate gratification neediness is pure death to real love and long lasting relationships. Slow down, take your time, and learn a few love songs.
Take it from me, people love to be sung to.
Some of us also love to be read to. Nothing makes me feel more romanced than a charming, well spoken man reading aloud to me. Of course, singing to me also works, but my darling partner and musician is dead now. Sigh.
Why can't "a date" be an afternoon at the garden centre?"