We Need More Jazz Vinyl Cafés

And I have a hunch we will get them

Someone needs to launch a 12-step program for jazz vinyl collectors. It’s just like dope, my friends, only with a different kind of needle.

I’ve met many fans who have a genuine addiction to those rotating 33 rpm platters. And their habit is expensive. For the most avid music fans, a trip to a record store can be more costly than a gambling junket to Vegas.

But unlike that lost weekend at the slot machines and blackjack tables, this problem definitely doesn’t stay in Vegas. I’ve heard from more than a few vinyl junkies that their single biggest problem—well, the second biggest, after paying for those over-priced licorice pizzas—is how to sneak the purchased vinyl into the home without the spouse noticing.

It's alarming, but true. Your relationship could founder because of one Blue Note first pressing too many.

Ah, the horror stories you hear at Jazz Vinyl Anonymous!

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But I have a solution for these struggling addicts. It’s kind of like the turn-your-lemons into lemonade strategy. But in this case, you use your jazz record collection to open a jazz vinyl café.

I can’t overstate the brilliance of this plan.

For a start, every album you purchase is tax deductible! Even better, when your spouse complains about all the time and money wasted on your habit, you now have a rejoinder.

Spouse: Did you buy another Cannonball Adderley album? Don’t you have enough of those?

Jazz Vinyl Addict: Calm down, baby. I’m just taking care of business.

If you’re unfamiliar with the jazz vinyl café concept, don’t feel bad. They don’t get a lot of attention outside of Japan—where they are known as jazz kissa (ジャズ喫茶). In fact, I assumed for a long time that they were almost exclusively a Japanese thing.