Two days ago, I wrote about the blue collar jobs of composer Philip Glass—and many responded with stories of their own workaday travails.
Most of us have been there. We need quick cash and grab whatever gig is available.
But sometimes we get a rude shock—and ask ourselves: “What did I sign up for?”
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Happy jobs are all alike, some wiseacre once said—but every bad gig is whack in its own special way. You show up on day one, and maybe enter a world of demented coworkers, pervy bosses, and dangers OSHA never imagined.
So today we want to hear your worst (or best) stories.
Here are the ground rules. For today’s open mic, you are invited to share details of
day gigs that were difficult or went bad in some extreme way;
day gigs that were surprisingly good;
Or just strange things you encountered on the job.
We want to hear all the dirt. But if your tale is too tawdry, I encourage you to change names to protect the innocent, and even the guilty.
I was an ESL teacher at a private school for adults for ten years in San Francisco, but when the cost-of-living became too much to bear, I had to leave the state and needed to find remote work. I told my parents and all my friends to ask if they knew of any "reading or writing related gigs" and an old friend of my father's told him to have me email her boss, a "Book Indexer."
Flash forward to a decade later, and I'm still gainfully employed in the wonderful "niche" industry of book indexing, which supports me well so I can also write professionally, and I get paid to read 5-10 non-fiction books each month which provides me with a wealth of strange knowledge from all academic disciplines and pop culture. I even get to do autobiographies and biographies for people I greatly admire like Hunter S. Thompson, Oscar Robertson, and Baruch Spinoza, to name a few.
About 15 years ago my girlfriend at the time used to do stilt walking to earn some extra cash. She'd been booked for the Santa Day Parade in Poole, Dorset (here in the UK) as an extra tall hot Reindeer but they were down a Santa as he didn't have an equity card. For some reason (I'm guessing cos I had a big beard and was known to dress up whilst DJing) her boss asked me if I'd step in. I didn't really know what an Equity card was at the time but I was healthily dishonest and happy to try my luck. So I got a job as Santa for the day.
Problem was I was DJing til 4am in another city the night before, I got back around 5am and there was a full blown after party happening in ny house. I maybe slept half hour before I got woken up to leave and bundled into a car to drive down to the coast.
I got dressed up and bundled onto a lifeboat with Britain's tallest man, Atlas from the Gladiators and a lady from Coronation Street. I realised I was way out of my depth suddenly.
"Don't Worry Santa" said Atlas, "I point and you wave, that's all there is to it". We got off the boat, I had to meet the town mayor then got carried through the streets on a sleigh by the shorter Reindeers as literally thousands of people lined the streets to see me.
I waved lots, kept smiling and shamelessly accepted Christmas lists from kids knowing full well I was a fraud. It was terrifying and surreal, but also one of the funniest jobs I've ever had.