I Get Such Amazing Emails from Readers

Here are some of them

I hear stories from readers—some of them sad, but many bring me great joy. Below is a very inspiring email I received earlier this week.

So many of us are trying to live more mindfully. And it’s hard to do nowadays. We rely on technology, but it has turned on us. It’s intrusive and manipulative—isolating its users, while promoting passivity and addictive behavior.

I’m trying to help people live better lives in this hostile environment. That’s the main purpose behind The Honest Broker. When I get an email like this, it makes me feel like it’s not all in vain.

I’m sharing this with permission—but leaving out the author’s name.

Dear Ted,

I am writing to express my gratitude for your work and for being an Honest Broker. In an attempt to illustrate my thanks, I’d like to briefly describe the wonderful effect you have had on my life.

Since discovering your Substack in 2021-2022, I have begun to turn my life around by making significant improvements to my quality of life and, subsequently, the lives of those around me. This is in no small part due to the influence of your books and articles.

The feeling I frequently get when I read your writing is along the lines of “He gets it,” or “Someone finally said it,” and “This needed to be said.” I would describe this to a friend as “Ted is able to express in words things that I feel and know to be true but am unable to describe myself.” Maybe that’s just the mark of a greater intellect or of a talented writer in general. But, to me personally, it is as if I had an understanding friend. This is something I needed and came to me at a time when I felt I had none.

For the past several years you have served as a much needed role model. I greatly admire your world view and relate to your experience as a musician finding your way. In 2022-2023, while reading Music to Raise the Dead, a copy of From Ritual to Romance jumped out at me from the racks at a thrift store. Around the same time, I picked up a copy of The Golden Bough and Battle for the Mind by W. Sargent as well as Solitary Confinement by Christopher Burney. These ideas were swirling about in my head, as I was also drinking heavily as usual, when a line from The Honest Broker jumped out at me. One of your friends had recently gotten sober, and you mentioned that it had been “deserving of your highest praise.” When I read that line, some willingness appeared within me that was not traceable before. At that moment I considered seeking help for my drinking problem.

As I write this, I have been sober for 2 years and 10 months. I have been wanting to write this letter to you for about as long. In lieu of going into more detail, I want to thank you again for your amazing body of work that influenced me, gained my trust, and continues to give me hope.

I have so many questions I would like to ask, but I feel selfish writing them here. I am sure you will continue to inspire myself and others with your writing, and for that I am content.

This serves as eloquent testimony for the real purpose of arts and humanities, and why I’m such a fervent advocate for them. You don’t pursue them to pass tests or drop names at a cocktail party—but to live a wise life, a mindful life, a good life.

There are people everywhere who are doing just that. Their stories aren’t told in the media or made into motion pictures, but they are far better role models than movie stars or pop singers.

Here are some links to provide context for this reader’s letter.

• How to Discover Mindfulness in a Nazi Solitary Confinement Cell

• Music to Raise the Dead

• A 12-Month Immersive Course in Humanities

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This email came from a conservatory-trained pianist at an early stage in her career:

If you can share, I’d be really interested to know: You probably get many requests to participate in various projects—how do you decide which projects to say yes to and which to decline?

My response:

First, I always try to give priority to my ‘big picture’ long term projects—even though they may not bring in any income at the time. This can cause a lot of pain and suffering in the short term, and external circumstances can force our hands at times. But if we don’t fight for our long term goals, who will?

For a while, I had a rule that I would always spent at least one day per week on projects that were my own choice, not something anyone hired me to do. Over time I shifted even more of my focus and energy to my pet projects. (Nowadays I turn down almost everything that doesn’t fit with my own objectives—but I didn’t get to that degree of autonomy overnight.) We all need to be able to pay our bills, so sometimes there are limits on our ability to manage your own daily schedule.

But you should spent a significant amount of time thinking about where you want to be in 5, 10, 20 years. And then make sure you are taking steps in that direction.

There were long periods in my life when I had very little control over my schedule. But even in those difficult days, I found some time every week to chase my dreams. That might mean pursuing them on weekends or late at night, but I refused to give up on them. Many of those dreams did became realities—but only because I never abandoned them, and kept building my pathway to them week after week.

Probably the key difference between me and most other writers is: (1) I go to great lengths to avoid projects ‘assigned’ to me by other people, maybe almost to an extreme, (2) I am always thinking about what I want to do as part of my long term vocational plan, and (3) I make decisions that others tell me are stupid, because I’m willing to walk away from a significant short term opportunity. But I know I need to do this if I hope to achieve the higher goals I’ve set for myself.

I hope this helps.

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This next question came from an esteemed music writer: He wanted to know how I had “defied the odds” in my relationship with Stan Getz, who is frequently portrayed as an irritable and irascible individual—and he mentions that he had heard this from many sources, including Getz’s ex-wife Monica.

Here’s my response.